There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
