I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
