forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You ruined the universe
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
