he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
