Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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