I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
