The maid of honor just puked.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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