i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
