Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
