i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
