I'm sorry my penis didn't work
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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