NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
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