you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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