you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
