I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
