Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
