Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
