I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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