This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
