I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
