but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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