Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
