yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
