u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Dick very happy bro
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
