I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
