I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
