I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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