At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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