Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
