How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Buhtt sex?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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