it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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