He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
