i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
