no. you can't hotbox the world.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
