I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
