He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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