no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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