Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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