Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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