So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
