that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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