Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
