I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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