Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
