I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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