I look better un-naked...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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