yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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