Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She's the barista slut.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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