So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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