I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
