If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Randomize
