Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
